What to know about a genre? Read it!

WARNING **LANGUAGE**

Now that the Great Self-Publishing Gold Rush has begun, people the world over are asking what books sell the most, so that they can make a quick buck. The most common answers are generally erotica and paranormal romance.

Unfortunately, Bob the author has never read paranormal romance and the only erotica he ever read was the back of porn movie covers. Nevertheless, Bob needs some money for a new roof and why shouldn’t he write paranormal romance and erotica?

For those of us unlucky enough to be on forums with Bob the author, we see questions like this:

• Does the erotica need a plot?
• What should I include in my paranormal romance to make people want to buy it?
• Why won’t anyone buy “John loves cock” or my latest story, “Mary turns her weregoat stepson into a stripper”? The covers have full frontal nudity. Shouldn’t that be enough?
• Anyone can write paranormal romance. It’s just cheesy romance.
• Anyone can write erotica. It’s just porn. I can watch a video and copy down the plot.

First things first. If you can find a porn video with a plot, well done. You’re already further ahead than most.

Second, erotica and porn are not the same thing. Do not ask how to write erotica, when you are actually writing porn. Do not ask how to write erotica if you have never read any. Writing erotica is not as easy as inserting Tab A into Slot B and then the female screams in delight. That’s porn.

So, Bob asks, “Well, what’s the difference?” Well Bob, go read some erotica and leave me the hell alone. I can provide you a list of erotica publishers. “Oh, but I only read indie (read: self-published), and it’s all like this.” I know that there is good self-published erotica out there, so go find that instead of reading “Bruce Turns his Step-Daughter into a Dirty Whore.” (Which, for the confused, is not an erotica title…that’s a porn movie title…though I could argue that the title shows there is a plot).

Same with paranormal romance. Ask what books should be read to learn the genre. Ask what the different between urban fantasy and paranormal romance is. Ask what is considered paranormal as opposed to science fiction (this is surprisingly a very common question). Don’t ask how to write a paranormal romance because your kid needs braces and you are too busy to read any books in the genre!

In the end, there is only one person who suffers: the reader. The reader, yet again, is stuck wading through shit hoping to find something readable.

Write erotica because you want to give it a try. Go ahead. I’m not stopping you, not discouraging you in the least. But don’t ask people who to write it because you are too busy to actually read any. Likewise, don’t ask how to write a paranormal romance (or science fiction, or YA, or whatever) when you’ve never read a book in the genre before, and don’t even like the genre and aren’t interesting in writing something fresh for the genre!

All it does it cheapen the experience for everyone connected to your story, including yourself.